Search for school

Nurse Jokes that shouldn’t be said in the Workplace

The truth is you must have a sense of humor to be able to work in a hospital or clinic and see such pain and misery on a regular basis. Laughing helps, and sometimes making small talk or even jokes helps patients break the tension. That said, there are some jokes you probably shouldn’t share around the office. This means with patients, with hospital management, doctors, or anywhere near the facility. Sure, they are funny, and they’re fine to tell outside the building. Don’t risk creating an ugly situation by mouthing off any of these tactless funnies.

Nurse Jokes that Shouldn’t be said at the Workplace

Anything Sexual

Does this really need to be said? Whether you’re making recovery jokes, or trying to lighten up a patient about a priapism, it’s just not safe to do. Avoid anything that might be considered sexual harassment or mean-spirited “fun.” For example, the old joke about the patient who keeps asking “Are my testicles black?” Eventually, the nurse realizes (after inspecting the area and giving him a huge thrill) that he’s actually saying “Are my test results back?” Funny! But don’t try it.

Don’t tell Jokes about making Errors with patients

Really, this is the last thing a patient wants to hear that he or she is in shaky, inexperienced hands. For instance, the classic about two doctors talking about the mistakes of a nurse who heard the instructions backwards. Two milligrams of morphine every 10 hours becomes 10 milligrams every 2 hours. Hilarity ensues when one doctor realizes, “Uh oh…I just told the nurse to prick Mr. Smith’s boil!”

Don’t mess around with Viagra Jokes

Yes, it’s extremely tempting, and just because a joke isn’t overtly sexual as in the first example, doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to make funny penis jokes to patients, doctors or the staff. For example, the one about the grandpa taking Viagra. “His relative asks him how service has been, and he replies that everything’s been impeccable. However, the relative is concerned when the old man says that the nurses bring him a cup of hot chocolate and Viagra. He says it helps him sleep. The relatives ask the nurse what’s happening, only to discover that the nurses give him hot chocolate to fall asleep, but the Viagra to keep him from rolling out of bed.”

Lastly, don’t Demean the Profession

We all enjoy cutting up and lamenting our jobs once in a while, but it’s usually frowned upon to complain about work while working and surrounded by patients and superiors. It’s common to complain about ER jobs and here are some whoppers that you should never say:

•You enjoy discussing hacking off limbs and tearing open bodies while enjoying lunch.
•When your kids get hurt you say, “Tape up the wound and send him home.”
•You can hold your pee like a world champion.
•You yell out “Yes!” after a full arrest occurs right as your shift ends.
•You pass out Prozac pills instead of donuts every morning.
•You regularly prank call Ask-a-Nurse number.
•You give anyone saying “Wow, quiet day, huh!” the evil eye.
•You don’t even notice boobs or legs anymore…you just say “Nice veins!”
•You’re addicted to chocolate candy “shots” throughout the day.
•You laugh like a maniac every few hours just to feel better about yourself.

You get the idea. We all enjoy joking about our work, but try to avoid “medical humor” in the hospital and stick to good-nature laughs. However, don’t be against joking and joshing in general. A little giggle goes a long way!

Nursing Scholarships

American Assembly for Men in Nursing (AAMN) American Cancer Society Doctoral Degree Scholarships in Cancer Nursing Gallagher Student Health Careers Scholarship
The Gates Millenium Scholars (GMS) National Black Nurses Association (NBNA) National Student Nurses’ Association (NSNA)
New Careers in Nursing (NCIN) Nurse Corps Scholarship (NCS) Nurses of Tomorrow
Nursing Economics Foundation Tylenol Future Care Scholarship American Holistic Nurses Association

Post University Online

Experience an education that helps you realize your potential in a way that fits you best. Request more information about Post University today.

Programs:

  • Graduate Certificate in Alcohol & Drug Counseling
  • B.S. in Human Services / Human Services Management
  • B.A. in Psychology / Organizational Psychology
  • And more...

Full Sail University - Online

Push Your Creativity To The Next Level

Programs:

  • Cloud Technologies Bachelors - Online
  • Graphic Design, Bachelor of Science (Online)
  • Entertainment Business, Master of Science (Online)
  • And more...

The Art Institutes system of schools

With an education from an Art Institutes school, imagine what you could create.

Programs:

  • Visual Arts (BFA)
  • Fashion Retailing (D)
  • Culinary Management (BA)
  • And more...

Colorado Technical University Online

A degree from CTU connects you to what matters most: powerful professional network, real-world professional faculty and innovative technology. Once you earn your degree you hit the ground running.

Programs:

  • Bachelor of Science in Nursing (RN to BSN completion)
  • Master of Science in Information Technology - Network Management
  • Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice – Human Services
  • And more...

South University, Online Programs

As a student at South University, Online Programs you will receive the same quality instruction, variety of learning options and level of service found at the campus locations.

Programs:

  • Nurse Educator (PGC)
  • Nursing (RN to BSN)
  • Specialization in Nursing Informatics (RN to MSN)
  • And more...

Centura College

Centura College, with campus locations in Virginia, South Carolina and Florida.

Programs:

  • Building Maintenance and Repair
  • Welding
  • Heating, Ventilation and Air Conditioning Certificate

Lincoln Tech

Get a hands-on, job-specific education at Lincoln Tech.

Programs:

  • Heating, Ventilation, & Air Conditioning (HVAC)
  • Automotive Technology

Ultimate Medical Academy Online

Ultimate Medical Academy is a nonprofit healthcare career school—and students are at the heart of everything we do. That’s why we offer exclusive student services through your career training and beyond, beginning from the time you enroll online or at our campus in Clearwater, FL. We’ll also guide you toward the right program for your goals, and help you understand the affordability of your career training. So let us know you’re interested, and we’ll discuss how UMA can help you succeed.

 

Gainful employment information can be found at UltimateMedical.edu/gainful-employment and includes information on tuition, loan debt, completion, placement, and occupations.

Programs:

  • A.S. - Healthcare Information Technology
  • Diploma - Medical Administrative Assistant
  • A.S.- Health Sciences (Pharmacy Technician)
  • And more...

CDS Tractor Trailer Training

Start your rewarding career in trucking at CDS Tractor Training School.

Programs:

  • Class "B" Training and Bus Training
  • Class "A" Training

Liberty University

100% Online & No Standardized Testing

Programs:

  • Doctor of Education: Community Care & Counseling: Marriage & Family
  • Doctor of Ministry: Evangelism & Church Planting
  • M.Div: Homiletics
  • And more...

Culinary Institute of Virginia

Turn your passion for food into a career at the Culinary Institute of Virginia.

 

What Are You Waiting For?

Programs:

  • Baking and Pastry Arts
  • Culinary Arts

Virginia College

The goal of Virginia College lies in its responsibility to its students, the technical and business communities, and the general citizenry. We have a long history of offering new direction to students.

Programs:

  • Pharmacy Technician Diploma
  • Medical Assistant Diploma
  • Medical Billing and Coding Specialist Diploma
  • And more...

Universal Technical Institute

At Universal Technical Institute (UTI), you won't just train for a career. You'll train for success. 

Programs:

  • Motorcycle

Aviation Institute of Maintenance

Aviation Institute of Maintenance schools are distinguished institutes committed to the education and personal enrichment of each student interested in the Aviation Industry.

Programs:

  • Aviation Maintenance Technician
  • Aviation Maintenance Technical Engineer

American InterContinental University Online

You’re serious about success. With your busy schedule and the desire to move your career forward, you can earn an accredited associate, bachelors or master’s degree at a pace that works for you anywhere, anytime, 24/7.

At AIU, the Serious U, you can get started to get ahead.

Programs:

  • Bachelor of Accounting
  • Bachelor's (BSCJ) - Law Enforcement
  • Bachelor's (BSCJ) - Forensic Science
  • And more...

Related Post

How to Obtain a Career in Correctional Nursing

Choosing to become a corrections nurse is a decision that should not be taken lightly. A corrections nurse is responsible for attending to inmates at correctional facilities across the country.

Why Taking a NCLEX Refresher Course is Important

Every licensed nurse in the United States has gone through the grueling experience of taking the National Council Licensure Examination, or NCLEX, and most likely every nurse can verify that an NCLEX